ℱℴℓℓℴω ℒℴѵℯ

It's 6 pm and this is happening! It's happening again! Sucha pain in the neck! I feel like I'm back to those dark days of anarchy!!

Okay, maybe I emphasize it a little bit too much..

You know, it's ironic but usually during the twilight, all the negative ions will start to hover me like the clouds, and a-waste-of-time thoughts suddenly fogs up.

I keep thinking about the times I messed up. The embarrassment I suffered, no matter how small. The screw ups I made. The people I pissed off. The failings. The things I'm not that I want to be, as well as the things I am that I don't want to be.

It scares me as I felt lonely and empty. I don't think I qualify for depression just yet, but I'm assuming that I'm 2 seconds away from it.


Point is, I keep seeing the negatives in my life. Where's this painkiller to my twilight disease? How do I shove off these feelings? Help? A chocolate? Doesn't work, tried it already. A teddy bear? No way, what am I? A 5-year-old? Okay maybe a hug from the fluffy teddy bear would help but then, I'll let the teddy bear be my punching bag to release all of my frustrations. Thank you teddy bear, to be sucha kind and emotionless stuffed toy even when half of your cotton is already outside your body. I'm just kidding, I would never do that to teddy bears, they're too cute haha! But frankly, it's because they value of money actually.

Okay let's get serious. Well actually I'm not that depressed as it seems. This entry does makes me look like that, but I'm fine. You know what they say, "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why it is called present." I get that from the movie Kungfu Panda actually haha, but the saying does have some points you know. I mean, if we were talking about the past, it's a history. There's nothin' you can do bout it. I get that.

But like I said, sometimes I do think about what I did in the past. And the painful ones are always the one making their permanent marks in my memory. How I wish I could put all of them in the trash bag and bid them goodbyes as they go away in the garbage truck.

But then, I realised that whenever bad memories are haunting me, that's the time when I needed to be with my beloved family and friends and make good memories with them. Let the good memories replace the bad ones. Let bright replace darkness. Let happiness replace sadness. Let rookery replace loneliness. Let joy replace emptiness. And above all, let ℒℴѵℯ replace hatred =)

Wait people, I'm not finished just yet. I'm must not forget the most important part in this whole transformation.

This whole thing isn't gonna work if you forget Him. Yes, always seek for redemption and He will guide you through it all :')