He could've

As I was pacing back and forth, suddenly a realisation came to me. I haven't had a conversation with my father for like 9 months already. Its the ending of september and I am still 19. Im in a situation where I needed to make some life decisions. I have to grow up at the edge of my teen years. I needed my father. I need his opinions. I need his promising words. I need his comfort. I need his help. I need his presence. I need him. If things isnt what it is, he could've.. He could've..